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Karena Setoudeh-Maram doesn’t speak of self-love as a luxury. For her, it’s a quiet discipline—cultivated in courtrooms, clinics, and late nights filled with unspoken pressure. She has failed, adapted, started again. She has learned how to hold space for others while learning, slowly, to hold it for herself. In this rare conversation, Karena opens up about what it means to stay soft in systems built on sharp edges, and how grace—when hard-earned—becomes the fiercest form of strength.
As someone who moves between the precision of science and the nuance of law, how do you cultivate self-love in spaces that often demand perfection over presence?
Cultivating self-love in environments that prioritize precision and perfection can be challenging, but it’s absolutely achievable with intentional practices. Here are some strategies I follow:
Setting realistic expectations, practicing mindfulness, celebrating small wins, embracing self-compassion, reflecting on personal values, limiting comparisons, seeking support, engaging in creative outlets, practicing gratitude, and setting professional boundaries.
By incorporating these practices into my life, I create a more balanced and loving relationship with myself—even in high-pressure spaces.
Your work requires resilience — intellectually and emotionally. How do you protect your inner world when external pressures mount or things don’t go as planned?
Protecting my inner world amidst external pressures involves a blend of practices that center and ground me: mindfulness and meditation, establishing boundaries, self-reflection, positive self-talk, seeking support, engaging in hobbies, maintaining physical well-being, and staying adaptable.
By integrating these habits into my daily life, I strengthen my resilience and create a buffer that protects my internal space from external demands.
Can you share a moment where failure challenged your sense of self — and how your values or advocacy helped you transform it into strength?
For many, failure can be a defining moment—one that disrupts self-perception and invites doubt. Yet, embracing core values like resilience, empathy, and growth offers a framework for moving through it.
For example, facing a professional setback—such as losing a job or falling short of a major goal—can be deeply destabilizing. In those moments, leaning on a commitment to lifelong learning and personal growth can reframe the failure as a catalyst. Seeking feedback, acquiring new skills, or pivoting in a meaningful direction transforms the experience into a stepping stone.
Advocacy also plays a powerful role. Supporting others through similar challenges can reinforce one’s own values and build a sense of shared strength. By helping others navigate, I deepen my own resolve and sense of purpose.
Ultimately, what turns failure into strength is the ability to reflect, learn, and align actions with what truly matters.
In both your advocacy and your personal life, you model grace under pressure. How do you stay tender with yourself when the world expects you to be unbreakable?
Staying tender with myself amid external pressure is difficult, but essential for emotional well-being. I rely on practices such as self-compassion, mindfulness, journaling, leaning on support systems, engaging in consistent self-care, and reframing unrealistic expectations.
By making space for these habits, I nurture gentleness and preserve emotional balance—even when circumstances call for resilience and strength.
What does self-love mean to you now, after years of navigating ambition, adversity, and impact? How is it different from the version you once believed in?
After years of navigating ambition, adversity, and the pursuit of meaningful impact, self-love has evolved into something far more grounded and enduring.
In the beginning, I associated self-love with self-indulgence or fleeting satisfaction tied to external achievements and validation.
Over time, however, it has become a deeper practice of acceptance and compassion—one that honors both strengths and limitations.
Today, self-love means prioritizing mental and emotional health, setting boundaries, and valuing growth without constant self-criticism or the burden of societal expectations. It’s the recognition that worth is intrinsic—not earned—and that vulnerability is not a weakness, but a path to authenticity.
This shift reflects a movement from surface-level self-appreciation to a resilient, unconditional relationship with the self—one that fosters wholeness, growth, and connection even in the face of life’s challenges.
@thequeenkarena